A Lesson in Vernacular

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Hi guys..

I gotta get something off of my chest because the more this occurs, the more annoyed I get. Here’s the thing I am educated, I am Black, and I am a single mother of two babies. I have to say that I get so tired of people splitting hairs over what I decide to call myself because of the negative connotations that surround whichever title: Baby’s, kid’s, or child’s mother. When you get down to it, I am all of the above. Just because Some people hop around, smack their lips, and drop the letter s when they say “baby mother” (which is erroneous in a grammatical sense alone) doesn’t make it a ghetto term. As I stated earlier, I happen to be Black as well and we know the negative connotations surrounding that title. Does that make me any less Black? Absolutely not. I define who I am and what the title means anytime I interact with someone.

This whole baby daddy/ baby momma high horse thing is getting crazy. To say I’m being disrespected or disrespecting myself for saying I’m his babies’ mom….why? He & I never married and while we were in a relationship at one point, we aren’t now. I don’t say “he’s my baby daddy” because it’s improper English but I will say that he’s my babies’ daddy/father because, well…who else would he be? Him being a parent to my children separates him from the rest of my exes. My vernacular doesn’t include the terms baby momma and baby daddy unless I’m being sardonic however, if it did it wouldn’t be disrespectful or degrading because it’s a fact.

What it boils down to, correct me if I’m wrong, is a grammatical error. Would I have rather been his wife than just the bearer of his children, absolutely. I’d also prefer being a wife over a wifey but that’s a whole different ball game. My point is that vernacular should have no bearing on what level of respect you get. At least not in this aspect. Some people believe a father is a leader and that daddies are simply donors while I was taught the opposite. The same goes for mothers versus mommies. It’s like a caramel/carmel or potato/potahto kind of thing. It seems to me that people as a whole should quit focusing on titles and focus on “Am I performing my due diligence as a parent? Whether I’m being called a ‘baby mama’ or ‘child’s mother,’ am I doing right by said child?” Nothing else should matter

Sincerely,

His Baby Mama

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