8 AM

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This is the first morning since I’ve discovered his double life that I did not call him. Instead I put on some music and sped to work. And still the silence is extracting my energy.

What’s the point of all of this when I will likely go back anyway? I hear it when people say “you deserve better.” I’m sure I do not know what “better” is.

There was a moment when my sister said to me “Why does he like you so much? He must not know you.” My mother said she was just doing what sisters do. I didn’t think I was so bad until the moment she said that to me. So if my sister doesn’t think I’m worth loving and yet he loves me then why should I leave?

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