Disclaimer: Let me start by saying that I am in no way suicidal or homicidal. So if I died in police custody, it was not a suicide. I have no desire to appear as a martyr for equality; I do not wish to die.
Currently, I feel like burning everything around me to the ground then hand in little hands walk on to the next chapter in our lives. Onward to a better living situation, better schools, and no questionable romantic situations. I’m tired. Tired of not trusting the only people I am supposed to trust. Tired of not being able to get my thoughts into the universe. Tired of living check to check. Tired of getting the kind of assistance that is tailored to prevent progress.
I have made so many bad choices and repeated mistakes in friends and lovers. Now, here I am. This is some strange stage between feeling sorry for myself and just plain tired of fighting upstream. I’ve started floating. Coasting downstream and away from progress. Drowning in television series after series.