Alphabet Soup

Writing until the letters tumble from the pages is healing.
New words are formed
from the alphabet soup in my lap
“Hot”
“Redundant”
“Unsatisfying”
“Disbelief”
“Resolve” —
Gossip has imitated life for far too long.
There are three small reasons to stay,
Two words that make it better
Both spoken daily as the constant reminders to the purpose of my unfulfilled desires.
Yet one big reason to leave
“My Sanity”–
Quiet sadness looms over head like London Fog
It’s presence has been obvious for so long that it is ignored and suffered
“I’m Blessed” —
What else could I be with a certain measure of health that keeps me sustained?
20 fingers and toes that tickle with mischief,
6 legs that skip in tune,
4 bright eyes that keep me alert,
3 hearts that beat as
one…
“Goodbye” —
The last word in this alphabet soup of mine & it needs no explanation.

tonight, midnight ramble

I turned off the television. I turned it off & sat in silence. The house was pitch black & empty. A low and content snore on my right and the humming of a now bare refrigerator seemed to echo through the house. I sighed. My heart sighed. It was a heavy, absolute, and haggard. I stared into the darkness and watched the room lengthen & narrow. The room stretched to eternity and the sounds disappeared. I could hear a loud bang. So loud, my head began to spin. The clangs and bangs were silenced when I closed my eyes and only when I kept them there in complete darkness. my heart had already given its last to me. I opened my eyes once more and attempted a resolute breath. There was nothing. I blinked and the bang came one more. My eyes fluttered & like symbols tumbling down a flight of stairs, the bangs and clangs continued.  I clicked on the television. My daughter’s snoring returned as did the hum of the refrigerator. I was no longer too small for the room. It was no longer larger than life and I could breathe again. Then two pairs of tiny feet dug into my thighs and told me that I made the right decision.