This is random but I’m sitting here trying not to beat myself up. The fact is, I’m only human. I’m entitled to be easily distracted, aren’t I? I question this because my “sole purpose” of opening my laptop tonight was to write. But I have no self discipline and I wind up doing things that are not related to writing in the least. I’m hoping that another writer will reach out from my woodwork of creative followers and tell me that this is a part of any creative process. So here goes.
- Finding good music. Something to vibe to that isn’t too loud or fast paced. Perhaps a little sensual or even melancholy.
- Watching funny vines. Animals are so funny. No emotions, my ass. *Scoff*
- Signing on to WordPress & finishing a short story and starting a new one.
- Wait, I finished a story so before I start a new one, I surf the net and by net I mean Facebook and maybe instagram.
- Bad lady cramps. Let’s get on the floor and stretch. May as well work out a little too.
- More Facebook – funny cat compilation.
- Starts new short story
- Pondering my life.
- Puts baby back to sleep. ( in addition to being a writer, i also have two children)
- Self doubt
- No. – just no.
- More self doubt.
- Okay, more writing.
- Meh…I can’t even finish this list.
This is crazy. I blame myself. Three hours ago we were fucking in an over sized bathtub like wild animals. There was water everywhere. He guided me onto one of the jets in the tub and watched me orgasm three times while he stroked his dick. It was amazing! Sliding and sloshing all over the Jacuzzi and fucking in every position. Then he carried me out of the tub and laid me on the bed. He proceeded to devour my pussy. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to squirm away as I continually squirted in his mouth. How many orgasms did I have? I have no clue but I was exhausted. Still we continued. I wasn’t ready to tap out but I did need to catch my breath. I turned myself over and tried to crawl away but he grabbed me by my hips and sucked my pussy from behind making sure to show my ass a little love. Then he penetrated me from behind. I bounced and clapped back until my g spot could no longer handle the sensation. Eventually we collapsed and fell asleep in a lover’s knot.
Despite all this, despite the breath taking sex session I still had one thought weighing heavy on my mind. WHAT THE FUCK IS IN HIS PHONE?! How many women go through this feeling? How many women just can’t fight that nagging feeling that their man is up to no good? I knew better. I swear I did. There was something defying my ability to think straight. So I slid out of bed & grabbed his phone. I was so nervous! This man I’ve been spending time with is 285 lbs of solid muscle and stands at 6’3 with a nasty temper. I had to be stealth! Be smart! And most importantly I had to be fast.
I stood in the bathroom with adrenaline pumping through my veins and body fluids dripping down my legs. Aint this some shit? Like an alter ego had completely taken over me. I was still covered in the evidence from last night’s passion. None of that mattered. So many thoughts racing through my mind…so I went for it. I went through his phone but it was broken so it kept shutting off. Well it’s settled then, right? I’m not going to look through his phone. I mean I can’t. If it were meant to be, then it would be easier. WRONG! Ya’ll know I had to try again and again…and again.
Bits of information were obtained: One telephone number, a few naked pictures, emails from a neglected baby momma…nothing terribly concrete.
FUCK…now what? I called the random number and I sent the neglected BM a naked picture of us together…a lot of fuckery ensued thereafter. I got dressed, emptied his wallet, hopped in my whip, and made a forthright effort to dip on his bitch ass! I won’t get into detail about how the following came about but I had to turn around. He hopped in my ride fuming…
To make this long story short my man was playing with fire. He made it clear to both me and this bitch that she wasn’t shit to him. It was sad really because while he was blatantly disrespecting her, she also made it clear that he was constantly doing her dirty. As far as the neglected BM? I’m not sure how that ended for him but he and I ended up cuddling on the pier watching the sunrise over the city skyline…my dumb ass. What can I say? He always treats me like a lady and he puts me first. Was he wrong? Hell yea! But I was too so now what?