When I thought the house was sleeping I laid on the floor and cried.
I cried and cried. I sobbed, really.
This is because I thought the house was sleeping.
I was trying to cry the demons out of me.
The dead baby and the broken heart, are what I was trying to release.
I tried to write about it all in grave detail.
I thought I was ready to shout it from a mountain.
And then I heard you walking around your room.
So I held my breath so tight that my ears started to ring
and my heart beat started to slow down.
That’s when I realized I still wasn’t ready.
That these demons and this baby would rot inside of me.
Knotting my stomach and rooting the pit in my chest.
I could hold my breath until there was nothing left.